Perchance to Dream

I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac.  Even as a child, I would lay awake at night trying mightily to go to sleep.  I’ve always been envious of people who could fall asleep as soon as their head hit the pillow…simply amazing to me!   The amount of hours that I’ve spent laying in bed trying to go to sleep must be staggering….probably in the thousands.  The cause of my insomnia is just plain thinking.  I think and think and think.   Sometimes I wish I could just turn my brain off at night to allow it to rest.  But yet, when I do fall asleep, I dream wildly.  My brain just does not know how to quit.

I am coming to the realization that perhaps I really don’t need that much sleep.  I read all the articles about the dangers of not getting enough sleep; how we need it to look beautiful, feel terrific, and to even lose weight.  Maybe it’s all a bunch of hype – at least for me?  I function okay, look okay, and am an okay weight, despite never getting enough sleep.  So maybe what I need is to get over is my worry about not sleeping much.  When, on the rare occasions I do sleep for over 8 hours, I usually feel sluggish, even more tired, and slightly hungover.  I feel as though I wasted so much time in repose.

I’ve been taking a number of natural supplements to try to help me get to sleep.  Melatonin, magnesium, GABA, and 5-HTP are good ones that I use in different combinations.  They are helpful in the fact that they help relax me (and my thoughts).   I still don’t sleep that much, but at least they help to calm and take the edge off.

The best part of sleeping is my dreams.  I love to dream.  Wildly realistic, sometimes stressful, but always interesting.  The best part of waking up is remembering my dreams.  A dreaming insomniac am I?  So be it.

Marilyn